I Can't Breathe
by Letsgoanime
Summary: What happens to Eijun when he gets sick? He needs help but doesn't want to tell in fear for them kicking him off. But this sickness could cause him to not be able to play baseball every again! Should stay K
1. Chapter 1

It was a silent, humid night and the Seido baseball team had turned in a little ago. One of the well-known pitchers of the team, Eijun Sawamura, was currently sleeping but tossing and turning.

He was breathing heavily, sweat moving down his face.

*Eijun's Pov*

It's dark… it hurts….. I can't breathe… help…

Darkness. That is what is surrounding me.

I feel like I'm underwater, I can't breathe, I'm gasping for air now.

….

Eijun shot up with a gasp and sweat heavily poured down his face.

He is struggling for air. Why can't he breathe?

He pounded his chest a couple times trying to make a better airway. He was now violently coughing, his face full of panic and eyes wide. He pounded harder…. Harder. It wouldn't surprise him if he bruised himself.

All the noises were getting louder, the gasping, the pounding. More rustling was heard in the bunk above Sawamura, as well as the one across the room.

Youichi started grumbling more, tossing and turning, similar to what Eijun was doing a minute ago. He finally sat up with an irritated expression across his face.

"OI! SAWAMURA! What are you doing!?"

He was greeted with coughs and pants and the pounding once again.

"Sawamura?" he continued. That horrifying sound. The sound of struggle….. The sound of _help_.

Youichi sat up real fast, throwing all his covers off, and jumping down the side of his bunk to Sawamura's. His face full of worry, anxiety and other emotions.

"Sawamura! OI!" He started pounding Eijun's back in hope to help but it wasn't working.

"Masuko, get up _NOW!_ " Youichi said loud enough for the other man in the room to hear.

Then the sound of another pair of feet hitting the floor sounded and paused. Then thumping was coming closer to the two.

"Masuko get some water for him!"

Masuko went to the roommates' fridge and looked through it quickly. It took a minute but he was successful and ran back over to the group.

Youichi grabbed the full water bottle from his friend's hands and put it to Eijun's mouth and started rubbing circles over his back in hopes of calming him.

Slowly but surely it started to work and he was chugging the water down and once it was removed from his mouth, he let out a couple more coughs and started breathing again.

The two teenagers were looking down at the other in worry but slowly replaced the look with relief.

The usual Eijun they knew was always yelling, full of passion, energetic, and was full with excitement, but the one they were looking at now had fear in his eyes and was frightened.

"Sawamura-chan, what happened?" Masuko asked for the both of them.

Sawamura took a couple more breathes.

"I-I don't kn-know…." He said with wide eyes. "I don't know if it was a dream or what, but I couldn't breathe and it felt like I was suffocating and everything was black…."

"I-it was probably just the dream that caused it, well everything is okay now, right?" Youichi said casting a glance at Eijun.

"Y-Yeah.."

Masuko and Youichi started off to their beds once again and waited a moment until they knew he was asleep then fell asleep themselves.

….

Today was Saturday, and like any other Saturday morning, the Seido baseball team spent practicing.

It was also the morning after the incident with Sawamura and everything was normal, so far.

Eijun was heading towards the field with his baseball uniform on as usual. His roommates had already headed off a little bit ago and he had just finished his breakfast.

He felt oddly tired and was sluggish a bit. Yeah, he did wake up last night but, that ordeal only lasted for about twenty five minutes the rest of the night he got sleep.

*Eijun's POV*

'Ugh why do I feel so stiff' he scrunched up his face and started stretching his muscles while walking.

The back of my throat started to feel itchy and scratchy so I coughed into my hand, Who would want to spread germs anyway.

…..

*No ones POV*

When Eijun coughed into his hand and pulled it back, his hand was stained red now…..

Wait what?

He had to do a double take.

He had just _coughed_ up _blood_ and it was now sitting in his hand.

Okay that's not normal, no one should cough up blood randomly.

He took his hand to the ground and rubbed it to get rid of the ugly crimson color on his hand.

And he just kept walking, like nothing had ever happened, but he still had a worry in the back of his head so he decided he would head by his doctor today after practice.

….

Practice was now almost over and had been going on for four and a half hours and everyone noticed something was off about this practice. It had been quiet.

Usually the third years were always the loud ones that cheered everyone on, but on the other side of the field the first and second years were oddly quiet.

That was because Sawamura had been very quiet.

Now like stated before, Sawamura had always been the one to cheer everyone on and add more spirit to the first and second years but for some reason he was very quiet today.

The third years had noticed this and as well as the second years and they observed Sawamura closely.

He was growing a bit paler, and he seemed sluggish. He was breathing a little harder than usual and had a cold sweat again. It was almost like he got lazy one day and spent the next three years being lazy then all of a sudden ran marathon without stopping.

Before anyone could point anything out, Sawamura had gone to the locker room and changed, he was the first one out then he walked out of the school.

This was very odd.

*Youichi's POV*

My eyebrows are knitted together in confusion and I have been confused ever since practice had started. Sawada is breathing heavy like last night, and he was coughing from time to time into his hand. Then for some odd reason he would rub his hand on the dirt right after.

'Never knew he was such a germaphobe.'

I just shrugged it off as Sawamura being Sawamura, and started changing.

*Sawamura's POV*

I feel horrible.

Utterly horrible.

During the practice I could feel myself getting paler, and I was coughing up blood once again.

I also was breathing hard and felt like last night. I could hardly breathe.

I was thankful when practice was over because as soon as it was I started heading out.

I was going to the doctor to see what was wrong because I frankly have no idea right now. I don't want to ask Shades (His coach) because he might sit me out for games and practices. Then I don't want to ask my other teammates because they could go report to the coach.

I am so tired right now, it hurts sometimes to breathe.

Apparently I thought long enough to arrive at the doctors once I was kicked out of my thoughts.

….

*With the team at lunch*

Everyone was talking about something but a certain group of people were silent with frustration on their faces almost as if they were trying to figure something out.

They were all wondering what had happened to Sawada during practice because for some people he helped get them energized, but it was a bit different without hearing him cheer them on.

"Senpai," Furuya began.

All attention was turned towards him.

"Did you notice something off with Sawamura today?" He asked staring at nothing.

Miyuki looked a bit disturbed as well, he was the one who would shrug things off normally and start joking around, but today he just couldn't.

Everyone knew something was going on with Sawamura today, and they wanted to know so badly, but they just wouldn't pry.

Masuko and Youichi were spearing glances at each other almost as if they were communicating with their eyes.

Chris had noticed Sawamura acting strange and was very worried. He was the kids 'trainer' after all, why wouldn't he be?

….

Sawamura had checked in and was the only one in the waiting room currently. Thousands of thoughts were going through his head trying to figure out what was happening. His health had gone down in pretty much a night. He had been feeling a little sickly this week but he had thought he had gotten the flu or something but he just didn't know.

That was when he saw and old man with an oxygen mask had walked out and slightly waved at him, of course Sawamura waved back.

Not too long after Sawamura was greeted with someone calling his name and a nurse at the door with a clipboard.

He got up and walked with the woman having a slight chat with her as they walked.

As she was taking his height and weight she asked questions of his symptoms and so on.

"So, may I know what is going on, or you know what you are worried about." She had asked while writing measurements down.

"W-well, it started with the symptoms around three in the morning last night, I couldn't breathe, and I was sweating horribly. I had started hitting my chest, hoping for an airway or something to open up so I could breathe but, I just couldn't. My roommates had gotten me some water and let me drink it and I was fine."

She nodded, probably something to do with his asthma she had thought but the next part proved her wrong and got her worried.

"Though, today, as I was heading towards my baseball practice I started coughing and I looked down at my hand I had coughed in. There was blood on my hand. I have been coughing it up ever since then."

She stopped writing for a minute and started down at her paper with wide eyes. He couldn't have what she thought he had, could he?

"O-Okay well let me go get your doctor and we can get started."

He nodded as she stepped out of the room and returned in what seemed like five minutes.

"Hello Sawamura-san!" His doctor had greeted gleefully.

His doctor was a tall slender man. He didn't have much muscle, and he had hair that was flattened out but pointed in different directions nonetheless.

Sawamura's doctor was a very nice and entergetic man, much like Sawamura but, got calm when need be.

He knew Sawamura's father because they used to go to school together. So he as well knew of Sawamura's love for baseball.

"What seems to be the problem today," He grabbed the clipboard from the nurse and as he went over each thing he started to get more worried over it.

"So you have had trouble breathing, and your coughing up blood as well?" The doctor asked looking up at him.

Sawamura nodded and as soon as he was getting ready to talk he felt something in the back of his throat.

*Sawamura's POV*

I was listening intently on what the doctor was saying, asking if everything he was saying was correct. I nodded with each thing and when he looked up at me I was going to say that everything that was written there was correct, but I started to feel something at the back of my throat.

I brought my hand up to my mouth and started to cough. I felt the warm, thick, and red liquid leaking down the palm of my hand. The doctor and nurse looked up at me worriedly and the nurse went to one of the cabinets in the room and grabbed a handful of tissues and handed them to me.

Once my coughing fit ended I started breathing heavily trying to get some air into me and they were looking at me.

….

"Sawamura, let me listen to your breathing." His doctor got closer to him and pulled out his stethoscope.

He listened closely and intently at his breathing and Sawamura was trying to take the deepest breathes he could.

His doctor's eyebrows furrowed and he had a look on his face, you just couldn't read it, the emotions he had they were all mixed, but not one emotion of happiness crossed his face.

Finally without saying anything the doctor backed away and started typing on his computer.

And once he finished he turned to Sawamura with a grim face and let out a frustrated sigh.

"Sawamura, I hope to god I am not right, but I fear you may have lung cancer."

Sawamura froze trying to process what he was just told….. His doctor is joking with him right? His doctor always likes to joke around with that big smile on his face, but…. he dosen't have a smile on this joke.

"Y-Your jo-joking right?" he said with a nervous expression, showing that he really was scared.

"I'm afraid I'm not this time, though I wish I was." The doctor said with a shake of his head and a sad expression on his face.

Sawamura just froze instantly and looked down at his feet.

The nurse in the room had a melancholy expression on her face, feeling grief for the one before her.

"As soon as you leave this room I want you heading towards the hospital to get a PET Scan. I will make you a letter so you can get in there immediately."

Sawamura was silent not making a noise and just nodded, his bangs covering his eyes.

"I will call you a taxi to drive you there." And with that the doctor left and, once the door closed silent tears could be seen heading down his face.

"I definitely won't stop practice for this." Then he headed out of the room with a determined face.


	2. Chapter 2

It was starting to get late and the sky was turning a dusty pink, orange, and blue. At the Seido high school baseball dorms, the baseball players were starting to relax and have some time to themselves.

Though, one certain baseball player wasn't there.

Sawamura was in a taxi heading towards the hospital for his PET Scan.

He gripped the letter in his hand thinking about what just happened at the doctor and slightly couldn't believe it himself.

He was lost in thought until he heard the driver call him to get his attention.

He noticed this and gave the driver a thanks before getting out of the vehicle.

He started walking through the sliding doors and as he was walking he noticed people as he walked by that were hooked to IV's, pale looking, and very miserable looking. Though there were some that looked happy, worried, sad, etc.

He went to the main desk and saw a very nice looking lady sitting typing reports away on her computer. He walked up to it and the lady's attention was turned all on to him.

"What can I do for you today?" She asked with a grin.

He didn't really say anything except for handing her the note and saying "My doctor told me to come here and give you this."

She looked down at the letter and started frowning a little each time. She looked back up at Sawamura and nodded and said "Follow me".

He closely followed behind her, walking down the large white walls, twisting and turning, rooms with patients in them and continuing and finally they stopped.

"This is the room for the PET Scan, luckily no one needed one today so they are ready to get you in there." She said with a happy grin once again.

He just nodded and walked into the room with her. He sat down in a chair while she went and talked with them and he saw her showing them the letter here and there.

He looked around the room.

It was a dimly lit room and there were machines hooked up everywhere. The walls were painted a light baby blue color and he looked to see the dark blue uniforms of the nurses popping out.

They smiled at him and they began with the scan.

Sawamura didn't necessarily feel awkward; but more like a feeling of not knowing what to do. They were telling him to turn this way, and that way.

Once they were done he was told he can go but he had to give him his number so they could call him and tell him the results, they said that he should be the latest of tomorrow evening.

So now that means he gets to go back… and somehow explain this to his teammates.

Oh god…. He forgot about them.

Well, let's just see what happens…..

….

&&&&Time skip cause I WANNA&&&&

Sawamura was now at the gates of the school once again walking in and started heading towards his dorm. He passed the baseball field, the dirt that felt amazing when he slid on it, the one thing he was good at, the one thing that he left his home, family and friends for…..though it feels like it's gonna be taken away from him.

He didn't know why, he had a gut feeling. And NO ONE doubts Sawamura's gut feeling…. Well you know… except in baseball.

He was now at the small gate in front of the baseball teams dorms and let out a big sigh before walking forward and up the stairs just trying to think of what he was gonna say…. He could always lie.

He was now at the last step, hearing his foot hit the metal with a clang and now he was walking towards his door.

He let out a big sigh and walked in. Only to be surrounded my his two roommates and question were thrown at him.

"Where were you?"

"Are you okay, Sawamura-chan?"

He tried to speak many times but he wasn't sure if it was because they were talking or he was too nervous to talk at all.

"Y-yeah! Why wouldn't I-I be fine!" He said with an awkward smile and that arrogant laugh of his he always does.

They all sat in silent for a minute expecting the other to say something at all, though no one said anything at all.

It started to get harder for Sawamura to hold a smile and it just got more awkward. He started to grow a sweat and nervousness was spreading across his body, and soon it was spreading to his throat. He had to walk in and cough without getting the blood noticed.

He nervously laughed and pushed past the two, he pushed off his shoes and pulled the covers up and laid down.

As he said the small sentence he tried not to cough once again and that resulted in his voice straining slightly.

"I'm kinda tired from walking so I'm gonna go to bed."

Youichi and Masuko followed Sawamura with their eyes trying to see if they could spot anything on the outside wrong with the boy.

They didn't notice anything but they did hear the slightly muffled cough into the pillow and Youichi narrowed his eyes.

' _Tch, if he dosen't want help then I won't give him any attention then.'_ Youichi thought, but he still couldn't get the thing nagging him in the back of his mind to stop so he just left it alone and turned off the light.

Masuko was about to say something to Youichi but stopped when the lights shut off and he walked to his bunk silently.

Sawamura mentally breathed a sigh of relief when they all headed to their beds and it was all quiet.

He was able to fall asleep as well but the dreams did not leave him alone once again that night.

….

 _Sawamura was running to a base and had already dropped his bat behind him. The crowd, he could hear cheering his name with all their might and telling him to move to third._

 _A couple steps off of second and he stopped, and he started coughing violently, blood splashing on the dirt all in front of him and everything went silent._

 _When his fit of coughs finally stopped he looked up to every staring at him with blank faces. Nothing showing just staring at him, even his own team along with his coach staring at him._

 _Then it all happened at once, noises of anger rose to levels it hurt Sawamura's ears and he was covering them, he looked all around him and to his horror both teams were approaching him with faces that he never dreamed of seeing until now._

 _They all had anger in their eyes some had mischievous glints in them along with anger to follow._

 _His team verbally attacked first saying how he was worthless to the team, Chris even telling him he should have never joined at all._

 _The coach discouraging him saying that he could not and never be the ace._

 _He let down his team, he was too weak, he was….._ _ **sick.**_

 _Suddenly coughs racked throughout his body and he started feeling the blood come out in clumps and tears leaking down his eyes in pain._

 _It hurt. It hurt so much._

 _Why can't the pain in his life stop? Why couldn't he be useful to his team? His friends back home?_

 _Himself?_

…

Sawamura sat up with a start and was breathing heavily and blood trickling down his chin.

It was like the night before but not as bad and he didn't wake his senpai's up thankfully.

He held in his next cough he was about to let out and stood up real fast and reached the door and yanked it open. He stepped out and closed the door as carefully as he could.

He leaned over the railing of the stairs and started coughing violently and like before in his dream he had tears streaming out of his eyes.

He felt so _tired._ His body _ached_ with pain.

He lowered himself to his knees on the cold concrete and was still coughing, He tried to get most of it on his hand but there was so much of it, some of it escaped.

His coughing started to dissipate and he was overwhelmed with exhaustion. His eyes had already started to droop and he felt drowsiness take over him.

Not wanting to pass out like this, he used the rest of his strength and pushed himself up.

He shakily stood and moved over to the door with breaths wavering.

He had already opened the door and grabbed a rag and headed to the sink. He started to clean himself up and turned off the water and flopped down onto his bed.

….MORNING!,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Sawamura groggily sat up and looked around to see who had woke him from his peaceful slumber.

He turned his head to see Haruichi.

The pink haired teen had always been kind and shy to everyone. He had the pink hair just like his older brother but his blocked his eyes unlike his brothers. He looked quite frail and had a delicate frame but when you put him out on the field he would change that instant and become so smart and was good at working small strategies with his batting.

Everyone knew not to mess with him because his brother Ryosuke was very over protective of him.

Sawamura had looked over to see Haruichi kindly giving him a smile and Sawamura returned it.

"Eijun-kun, it's time to get up and come to get breakfast."

Sawamura groaned and flopped back down on his pillow and sighed.

He sat up real fast and looked at Haruichi clearly.

Haruichi's mouth opened as soon as he saw Sawamura but he quickly closed it.

"Youichi-senpai left you and I remembered he never gets you up so I came to get you this time." He said with a big grin.

Sawamura said thanks but then grew his playful self and started talking.

"That jerk! He needs to start getting me up, or I'll be late everyday!" As he was saying this he was already throwing on shoes and heading out the door.

Haruichi sighed and slowly walked out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Sawamura was already almost down the stairs by the time Haruichi came out of the door.

Youichi had taken in his surroundings as he walked and was looking around until red caught his eye. He knelt down and saw on the concrete ground near the railing there was a red stain.

That has never been there.

Not even yesterday.

He knows because Youichi invited him over to play games yesterday.

His eyes narrowed and he was getting slightly confused but trying to connect the pieces.

"HARUICHIIIII!"

He flinched and sat up real quick and there was a pale looking Eijun staring at him with a grin on his face.

Haruichi smiled, but it wasn't just a smile, for some reason it was a sad smile.

Was it because Eijun was practically sick and he felt pity for him? No that's not it. He dosen't know though….

"Coming!"

Haruichi stood up from his crouched position and started heading down the stairs with Eijun to go eat breakfast with the teammates.

… **..While this was happening…**

Youichi and Masuko sat down with confused looks on their faces and talking between one another but in a hushed whisper.

Jun sat there looking back and forth between those two and started to grow irritated and the tick mark on his head grew slightly bigger.

"OI! WHAT the HELL ARE YOU TWO WHISPERING ABOUT!?"

Everyone stopped and looked at the table.

Youichi let out a 'tch' and turned away but then looked seriously at everyone.

"Hey…." He spoke lightly.

More people's attention turned towards him.

"Has anyone… noticed?... Sawamura, I mean… he's acting strange.

A few people nodded in unison and some just looked slightly more interested.

"Well… I know this sounds weird but…. Let's try to lay off of picking on Sawamura so much…. I know we do it because we're expecting more from him, but I think it's getting to him."

So people looked away as if contemplating and a lot of people let out a sigh of agreement.

And just as people started eating again, speak of the devil.

"Youichi-senpai! WHY?!" Sawamura said coming up closer to him.

But

He started to tilt.

And his eyes started to shut slightly.

Everyones eyes widened.

THUD

His body fell and hit the ground.

Miyuki was the first to get up and kneel down to him as fast as he could.

"Oi, Sawamura, OI! Furuya get some water! This guys running an insane fever!"

Furuya hesitated for a second but then started running to the fridge to get one of the waters. The others in the room were just watching in shock.

Miyuki lifted him up with his shoulder and arm and layed him on a seat/bench.

Furuya handed Miyuki the water and twisted off the cap. Miyuki put the water to the boy's lips and started to slowly poor water in and Tanba had gotten a cold washcloth.

Eijun layed there breathing a bit deeply and his cheeks flushed.

At that moment Coach walked in and slightly hesitated for a moment.

"Miyuki, what happened here." He said more like a statement than a question.

"As soon as he walked in her collapsed, I layed him down here and the others got things to help."

He nodded with a stoic face as always and turned to Masuko and Jun.

"You two, carry him to his room."

They both nodded and picked up Sawamura on each shoulder.

… **..MWHAHAHA…..**

There was a deafening silence in the lunch room. No one had said a word since Eijun had fainted, too much shock had come over them.

Of course it was probably just a simple cold or fever, though many couldn't shake the feeling it was more than that. Eijun wouldn't have fainted because of a silly fever. No doubt if it was just a simple fever he'd still be practicing.

They know this of course, because it had already happened once before. Eijun had gotten the flu for about a week but not once did he complain or quit practice.

So what's so different about this time then?

"So would anyone like explaining to me what's wrong with Sawamura." Coach said more as a statement than a question.

No one replied some kept looking down and some were just simply eating but in deep thought.

"No one? … Alright get to practice." Coach turned his back to the kids as he heard the shuffling of everyone standing up and the voices that followed as they mumbled to each other.

The topic of the day seemed to be Sawamura of course. Coach wouldn't admit it but he was slightly worried about our pitcher as well.

After the players had emptied the lunchroom Coach had followed out shortly after, turning the lights out on his way.

…..

It's a hot day today…

Really hot.

Too hot.

Sawamura shot up in his bed coughing frantically and sweating horribly.

Ugh. His chest.

It hurts so bad….

The pain in his chest is sharp, and not only that he can feel the blood rising in his throat again. The coughs were dry, but they had wetness to it because of the warm blood.

He felt very tired at the moment and didn't feel like moving, he felt like if he moved any then something would break.

All of a sudden he felt smooth rubs on his back and a soft rag being pushed into his face to cough in.

"Slow and steady Eijun… slow and steady…. That's it…." A very familiar soft voice spoke to him. He felt relaxed when he heard it.

"H-Haruichi?" After he had spoke though, more blood had started to rise and his coughs became more frantic.

"Eijun, you have to stop talking, just breath first."

He tried nodding but just kept coughing.

The tickling in his chest and the pain had eased and he had relaxed into the hand that was rubbing into his back.

"Th-thanks, H-Haruichi.." Eijun spoke with dark circles under his eyes.

"No problem Eijun-kun…. Though…"

Eijun froze he knew what was coming, Haruichi knew, he was so disappointed in him, he was a let-down and he was weak, he was gonna tell Shades and have him kicked off the team.

"Please….Please don't tell…." Eijun's voice had cracked as he was saying these words. It hurt in his chest and it just hurt him emotionally that he was going to be kicked off the thing he loved most.

"Shhh, relax Eijun…. I'm not going to say anything….."

"R-r-really?" Eijun stated with wide eyes as he looked at his best friend.

"It depends, but you have to tell me how serious it is…" Although he couldn't see his eyes, he knew Haruichi had a worried look in them. He's safe. He's not going to be angry.

"C-c-cancer… Their thinking that's what I have…." Eijun looked down in his lap in shame and felt more tears coming down.

He could hear Haruichi gasp.

"Oh Eijun….. It's okay, It'll all be okay…" He gathered Eijun in a hug and held him them shushing Eijun as sobs escaped him.

"It hurts…. I'm a failure to the whole team…."

"SAWAMURA EIJUN! Never once have you or will you be a failure! It's not your fault you're sick!"

He had lost words honestly. He had never heard Haruichi yell for real and it was coming to be a real shock to him.

"Now. You need to lay back down and rest. I need to go report to coach that your awake and what exactly is wrong."

"What, No yo-"

"Eijun! He's not going to get rid of you. He would never do that and frankly I need him to know how serious this is! It's not something you can just play practice through and expect to get better in a couple days!" Haruichi had stood up at this point looking down at Eijun taking in the sight of him.

Eijun had just stared up at Haruichi in shock then looked down at his covered legs.

He looked guilty and he honestly felt that way, how could he even think that he would kick him off the team?

Eijun slowly nodded in understanding and when he had looked up once again he saw Haruichi with one of his soft smiles looking at him.

He of course returned he smile and watched as Haruichi walked to the door.

"I'll be back soon, you'll be first to know what the coach says."

Haruichi then walked out leaving Eijun to his thoughts.

That went okay…..


End file.
